Irony

Words should just fly out of our minds. But they doesn't. You have to choose what to say, pick the right amount so you won't hurt anyone. Won't hurt yourself. Today they decided to come out in another language and I guess that's because I feel safe saying things that are not easily decoded by the ones around me. I am not allowed to say things the way they are. I was born to transform my feelings in something more beautiful or less pathetic. I wasn't born to be silly. I did not come into this world to make fool of myself by saying things that I shouldn't, or by spelling feelings the way they are.

People like to brag about how they are real, transparent, sincere. They are not. It's not because we care about others, but because we have to save ourselves from drowning in our own stupidness. We are all like that. We are frequently stumbling in words that have crossed our minds and that? Well, that's the worst nightmare. Words we've never said, words we said and regret every day of our misery lifes. You know, we are moved by that little and powerfull things.

Words makes ourselves who we are. They write our paths. They destroy things along the way and build other ones. Sometimes even prettier. Sometimes messier. That's what life is about: all the words that you threw out on the air for the wind to carry. All of your decisions, even the worst of them, gather together, putting the peaces of the puzzle on the right place. We can't see it. We don't know where we are heading to. But we hope it's something better than we have right now, we always do.

And I hope I'll get there. I'm sorry if you can't see it, but I can. I can feel my hope dancing around me, making me feel alive, making words come out of my mouth so they can lead the way. Even if they are bad sometimes. Even if they are amazingly stuning and magical. Even if they hurt and destroy everything. Even if they destroy myself. There's a reason. There is got to be a reason. Right?

Resolvi escrever algo em inglês. Acho que a maioria não vai conseguir entender, mas tudo bem, esse era um daqueles textos que a gente escreve pra guardar as idéias emboladas e não pra ser entendido. /alegre /piscando /virado